hazelhawthorne (hazelhawthorne) wrote in ninjapornmonkey,
hazelhawthorne
hazelhawthorne
ninjapornmonkey

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I'll go first.

A friend of mine posted a flocked and filtered poem (at least it reads as a poem to me) about one of her dark, secret, sexual fantasies.

I have asked her to allow me to post it here because I would love to share with you all the beautiful and visceral words she used to express herself, but I have not gotten her permission yet.

My very insufficient summary is that she was discussing a fantasy about being fucked by many men at the same time.

Here is my reply:

Shit!

I should not read stuff like that at work!

It's bad enough when I read the hot man-love-smut, but what you wrote so beautifully here is one of my bullet-proof-kink fantasies.

I can not tell you how many times I have gotten myself off with variations of that scene. My earliest sexual fantasies, from when I was 6 or so, involved being forced to have sex with a succession of people in public. When I was 6! And it still does it for me.

And yet, it's not something I have ever tried. I have been tied up and tortured on stage at a club, which satisfies the public thing and generally involves lots of orgasms, but is sadly lacking in the raw, pounding, FUCKING I desire in that fantasy, and does nothing to speak to the multiplicity scenario. I've been involved in group sex with many women and one guy, threesomes with two other women, with another woman and a man, and once with two men. But never have I been in a situation where I get repeatedly fucked like that fantasy calls for.

And now I find myself wondering why not.

Is this really something that has been out of my reach all these years? Considering the things I have achieved, I'm pretty sure this could have been an attainable goal, maybe even still is. The truth is, I never really pursued it.
Why?
Am I afraid of how dark I really want this to be?
Am I afraid I would like it too much?
Am I afraid of not liking it at all and thereby ruining what has been an OMGYES!!!! fantasy for my whole life?

I don't know.

If five or six (or eight or ten *grin*) guys I was interested-in/ attracted-to/or at least not-repulsed-by showed up and wanted to enact this fantasy, would I say no?

Probably not.

Am I going to go out of my way to make it happen?

Not likely.

Oh well. *sigh*

I'll still be using it as a fantasy on those lonely nights when it is just me, my Nexus and my Fukioku 9000.
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